I've been here before
by Skovko
Summary: Four years ago Dean made the biggest mistake of his life and he's been paying for it ever since. When the one person he hurt back then gets signed with WWE, the game between them starts all over again but this time he can't play like they usually do.
1. The game begins

Dean stopped dead in his tracks and swallowed hard as he entered the arena. He hadn't thought the ring or the area around it would be empty but never in a million years had he thought he would see her inside it. Chocolate brown hair in tight curls that reached to her shoulders. He knew how long it really was if she straightened it out. He also knew that with that hair came the most enticing pair of crystal green eyes.

"Uce?" Roman asked.  
"Dean, are you okay?" Seth asked.  
"Yeah," Dean scratched the back of his head. "Not really, no."  
"What's wrong?" Roman asked.  
"I can't go down there," Dean answered.  
"Why not? It's just Nia training with some rookie," Seth said.  
"She's... Ehm... She's... I know her," Dean said.  
"Who is she?" Roman asked.

As if she felt his eyes burning into her from afar, she stopped in the middle of the ring and turned her head towards the ramp. Even though he couldn't see the green shade of her eyes from the distance, he remembered it perfectly, and it took his breath away when she looked at him.

"Spencer," he whispered.

As if it wasn't a big deal seeing him again, she turned back around to continue training with Nia. Of course it wasn't a big deal to her. She knew he worked for WWE but she hadn't given him a heads up that she had been signed there. He shook his head in an excuse without any words, turned around and walked away.

"She clearly means something," Seth said.  
"Oh, you think?" Roman said sarcastically. "We better make him tell us right away or it'll eat him up in no time."

They caught up with him in no time and followed him outside without a word. Once outside and away from everyone, he sighed deeply and looked at his two friends. They didn't need to ask. He knew what they wanted to hear.

"A long time ago Spencer and I were a thing," he started.  
"Seeing you react like that makes us know it was more than just a thing," Roman said.  
"I loved her so much, you won't even believe it. She was the first and only one to ever break my heart," Dean said.  
"What happened?" Seth asked.  
"It was all my fault. I broke her heart first and she just did what she felt she had to do but it fucking hurt and it keeps hurting everytime we cross paths because we don't know how to be around each other so we keep doing the same fucking thing and it hurts! It fucking hurts!" Dean was almost shouting.

He leaned his back against the brick wall and wiped his eyes with his hands. At least none of them called him out on the tears that had been there.

"It was four years ago," he said.  
"That's a long time ago," Seth said.  
"It doesn't matter because we keep running into each other," Dean said.  
"What happened between you?" Roman asked.  
"I fucked up, Roman. I fucked up so bad," Dean's lip quivered. "We were together for eight months and I knew from the beginning that she was fucking it for me but I was young and wild and the idiots I was running with back then kept telling me how I was too young to settle down and that I should live a little."  
"Oh, Dean," Roman sighed.  
"I'm not proud of it but they got into my head and I started cheating on her. I made excuses to myself that I was being drunk and young and as long as she didn't know, no one got hurt, right?" Dean chuckled sadly. "Wrong! We both got hurt and I lost the one person I ever wanted to be with."  
"So she caught you in the act, or what?" Seth asked.  
"Oh yeah, I made the mistake of forgetting to kick a girl out afterwards and Spencer showed up next morning with breakfast. I'll never forget the look on her face when I woke up and saw her standing in the bedroom," Dean answered.

Roman reached a hand forward and patted Dean's shoulder. He didn't know what to say to make Dean feel better. Dean had fucked up and he knew it.

"That's not even the worst part," Dean shook his head. "She looked shocked but she didn't yell or anything. She just looked at the girl next to me and told her that breakfast was in the kitchen and that she hoped she liked orange juice."  
"What?" Seth chuckled.  
"And then she walked away," Dean said. "Of course I ran after her, expecting her to hit me and scream but nothing came. She just said she was happy to know exactly where she stood and that she would come by later that day."  
"And did she?" Seth asked.  
"She did, yes, but everything had changed. I wanted to talk about it and apologize but she didn't let me get one word in. She tore my clothes off, jumped me and fucked me like a drunken one night stand," Dean answered.

Roman sighed. He had a feeling where the conversation was heading.

"She treated me like I treated all those girls. Once she was done fucking me, she put her clothes back on, told me it had been fun and that she would see me around. And then she left. She left me heartbroken and not able to fix it," Dean said.

Once again the tears were in his eyes and he didn't care about crying in front of his two friends. Normally he was good at keeping his emotions within but not when it came to her.

"And everytime we cross paths, we do this stupid game. We deliberately try to make the other one jealous. We hook up with others in front of each other for several parties until one of us, mostly me to be fair, break down and attack the other one and we'll have incredible sex and everytime I wanna tell her how much I still love her but I never get around to it. And then we split apart again because one of us is going to wrestle somewhere else and I try to heal my broken heart and forget her and then she shows up again. She always shows up again," Dean said.

He felt a hand on his other shoulder and he knew Seth was next to him like Roman was on the other side. He hadn't realized he had closed his eyes before feeling the hand land on his shoulder. He opened his eyes and looked straight ahead to avoid eye contact with both of them.

"For four years I've taken every mental punch and kick you can imagine for the biggest fuck up in my life and I deserve it. I deserve all of it because I hurt the one person I cherished more than anything," he said.  
"So you never talked about it at all?" Roman asked.  
"Not once. It's like she buried it and I can't find out where so I can't dig it back up. I don't know how to start and it has only gotten harder over the years. I've accepted this weird dance between us no matter how much it hurts because it gives me her again and again," Dean said. "Just not to keep for good."  
"Well, she must still feel something for you when she continues dancing with you like that. You can't make me believe someone would spend four years on revenge. It has to hurt her too to see you again and again," Roman said.  
"You think?" Dean asked.

He turned his head and looked at Roman and there was the hint of hope in his eyes.

"I don't know," Roman answered. "I don't know her. I just don't think anybody would do something like that for that long without some sort of feelings."  
"Is revenge a feeling?" Dean asked.  
"Not really," Roman chuckled.

They turned their heads at the sound of the door to the arena opening. Of course Spencer of all people stepped out. She looked at Dean and then gave Seth and Roman a quick once-over.

"Hi Spencer," Dean said softly.  
"Hi Dean," she said.

There was no cruel or hateful tone in her voice. Just a flat tone as if she had met someone she once went to school with and couldn't remember much of. As if he had never been deep inside her heart like he knew he had been.

"So you got signed here?" He asked.  
"Yeah," she answered.  
"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked.  
"I don't have your number," she answered.  
"You deleted it?" He asked.  
"What does it matter anyway? I didn't think you would care," she said.  
"I always care," he said.

She looked around and pretended not to hear him. The situation was getting awkward with his two friends standing right there listening in on every word.

"You need a ride somewhere?" He asked.  
"No, Xavier offered already," she looked through the glass door. "Ah, here he comes."

The door opened and Xavier stepped out.

"Hi guys," he smiled at Dean, Seth and Roman before turning to her. "Ready to go?"  
"Yes," she smiled widely.  
"See you around, guys," he waved at the three men.

Dean watched her walk with Xavier and get into his car. She didn't even look at him as they drove away.

"And so it begins," he sighed.  
"What?" Seth asked.  
"The game," Dean answered. "The stupid game. She's gonna focus on Xavier and I'm gonna find someone to try and make her jealous and we're gonna act like fucking teenagers out to screw with each other's minds."  
"So don't play," Roman said. "Be an adult about it and talk to her."  
"Four years too late," Dean said.  
"It's never too late," Roman said.  
"Roman's right," Seth said. "You just gotta make her listen to you. Don't give her the choice. Lock her inside a room with you and make her listen."  
"I'm afraid I'll lose her for good then. At least this way I get to be with her," Dean said.  
"But at what cost?" Roman asked.


	2. Hedgehog

Dean sat back in a chair in catering, chewing on a shiny, green apple when Xavier and Spencer entered. He almost choked on the bite of apple in his mouth as the thought of her spending the night with Xavier entered his mind. He knew she hadn't. Not without somehow letting him know first. That didn't mean the thought wasn't there though since he knew that was where this was heading.

"Uh, pancakes!" Xavier said cheerfully.

Dean watched as Xavier went straight for the pancakes while Spencer grabbed a yoghurt drink. He didn't need to look at the label to know she had taken one with strawberry flavour. He knew her too well.

"I'm gonna run out and find Nia," she said.

She leaned in a kissed Xavier's cheek, her eyes landing on Dean as she did so. There wasn't any amusement in her eyes. Just a look he had seen many times. The same look that had been in her eyes that morning when he had caught up with her outside after she had caught him in bed with another girl. That look that kept everything hidden deep within.

He sighed as she started walking out of the room. His eyes followed her every step and too soon she was gone and he was left with nothing but that shiny, green apple in his hand and a feeling of emptiness inside.

"Dean," Xavier sat down next to him. "I need to ask you something."  
"Fire away," Dean said.  
"Spencer talked a little about you in the car yesterday," Xavier said.  
"Yeah?" Dean asked.

He felt a bit of hope in his heart. She had talked about him to a complete stranger and he could only hope she had good things to say.

"She didn't go into specifics but she mentioned you have a past," Xavier said.  
"We do," Dean said.  
"She also said that you won't care about it but since we work together and I don't wanna make you mad, I just wanna make sure you're okay with it if I ask her out on a date," Xavier said.

It took a lot in Dean to keep a straight face and not blow up in front of Xavier. He wasn't sure what made him most angry. That Xavier wanted to date her or the fact that she had told Xavier he wouldn't care about it. He did care. He cared a lot.

"You wanna take her out on a date?" He managed to ask.  
"Yeah, if it's alright with you," Xavier smiled. "I like her, Dean, and I wanna get to know her. She seems sweet."  
"She is sweet," Dean forced a smile. "But as far as I know, she doesn't date."

He had never heard about her dating or having another boyfriend after him. Of course months went by without them seeing each other and she could be in relationships in those time periods but never once when he had been around her had she done anything besides hooking up with others just to end up with him in the end.

"Is that a no?" Xavier asked.  
"No, all I'm saying is..." Dean sighed. "Fuck it! I don't know what I'm saying. If you wanna date her, ask her out. What the fuck do I care, right?"

He stood up fast, threw his half finished apple in the trash can and walked out of catering. He had to get out before he would take his anger out on Xavier. Xavier didn't deserve it. He was just a man finding a woman interesting. And not any woman. Dean's woman. He was about to go down the rabbit hole once again and come back up with a broken heart all over again. Maybe Roman was right. Maybe it was time to be an adult about it and stop playing this stupid game.

"Uce, you coming?" Roman's voice reached him.

He looked up and saw Roman and Dean waiting for him. He had spaced out and completely forgotten they were supposed to train in the ring.

"Yeah, I'm coming," he said.

He walked over to join them and soon after found himself inside the ring where they went over some moves.

"So if we do this triple tag with a couple of dropkicks from you two and a clothesline from me, the audience will lose it. They always do," Roman said.  
"And then end with the triple power bomb as always," Seth said.  
"Sounds good," Roman said. "Dean?"

Dean wasn't listening. He was watching Spencer, Nia and Xavier walking down the ramp together. Nia was laughing at something Xavier said but Spencer didn't seem all that interested. Dean knew she wasn't. Xavier was just another pawn in the game they had been playing for years.

"Dean?" Roman asked. "Hey uce, are you with us?"  
"Spencer," Seth said lowly.

Dean felt a hand on his shoulder and turned his head to look at Roman.

"Are you okay there, little brother?" Roman asked.  
"I'm fine," Dean answered.  
"I didn't ask if you're fine. I asked if you're okay," Roman said.  
"No," Dean sighed.  
"You wanna get out of here?" Roman asked.  
"Yes," Dean answered.

All three men rolled out of the ring and walked up the ramp. Just as they passed the three people walking down, the back of Dean's hand touched Spencer's and it felt like electricity shot through him. Without thinking he grabbed her hand and they both stopped and stared at each other. For a few seconds it was like the four other people around them disappeared.

"Hedgehog," he whispered.

The word brought her back to reality.

"No!" She hissed and pulled her hand away.  
"Sorry, sorry," he mumbled.

He hurried up the ramp without looking back at her.

"Hedgehog? Why did he call you that?" Nia asked.  
"Probably because he thinks I have spikes and that I sting," Spencer shrugged. "How the fuck should I know what goes on inside his head?"  
"Yeah, he's always a bit weird," Nia said. "You're staying to watch us train, Xavier?"  
"If it's okay with both of you," Xavier said.

Dean headed back to catering with Roman and Seth right behind him. He loaded up on chicken wings and sat down at a table in the corner. He stared at the wings and pushed the plate out in the middle of the table. Seth grabbed a wing and slowly ate it while looking at Dean.

"I think you were right yesterday, Roman," Dean finally said.  
"About what?" Roman asked.  
"The whole growing up thing," Dean answered.  
"So you're finally gonna tell her?" Seth asked.  
"I don't know," Dean sighed. "Maybe I should just let her go, you know. Xavier is a kind man and maybe he can make her feel something. I just wanna see her happy."  
"And what about your happiness?" Roman asked.  
"It doesn't matter," Dean said.

He hung his head low but quickly felt Roman's grip on his jaw. His head was forced back up and Roman gave him one of his well known looks that demanded respect and attention.

"Dean," Roman said firmly. "It matters. You matter. I can't tell you what to do or not to do but I will not allow you to make yourself feel even more miserable. If you wanna let her go, then fine, but then you work towards your own happiness without her."  
"I don't think that's possible," Dean said.  
"Then you tell her," Roman said.  
"I..." Dean started.  
"No!" Roman cut him off. "You tell her!"  
"Maybe we should lock the both of them inside a room together," Seth said.  
"I might just do that," Roman said.  
"Tomorrow at the party," Seth chuckled. "Let's get them drunk and leave them in a hotel room together."

Dean groaned at the mention of the party. With her suddenly being in the same company, he had completely forgotten about the party.

"Fuck the party!" He spat.  
"Not in the mood to get drunk?" Seth asked.  
"Parties with me and Spencer always end up in pain," Dean said. "One way or another."  
"Then don't go," Roman said.  
"I have to. It's what we do," Dean said.  
"The stupid game again?" Roman asked.  
"Yeah," Dean sighed. "I don't know how to quit. I just wanna be with her even with all the pain that comes along with it. I love her, Roman. I love her so fucking much."


	3. It's okay to cry

Dean had been one of the first people arriving at the party. Not because he was actually in the mood to party but because he didn't wanna miss one second of her being there. This is what he did, what they both did, time after time. More pain, more hurt, more heartbreak - and he was ready to take it all as long as it meant more of her, even if it was just for one night.

He almost choked on his beer when she entered almost two hours later. He was surprised to see that she still had that navy blue and white striped dress. She had been wearing it that evening when she had made it perfectly clear to him that they were nothing but each other's toys and no longer in a relationship. That fateful day where he had ruined everything. It wasn't because it was low cut and sexy. Sure, it was short but that wasn't it either. It was the way it hugged her body perfectly, showing off just enough of her breasts and ass to make him forget how to breathe. As usual she wore a pair of flat shoes, this day a pair of black ballarinas. She had never been one for heels or boots. She didn't try to dress up and be sexy. She simply was sexy no matter what.

"She looks cute," Seth said.  
"She's perfect," Dean said.  
"No one's perfect," Roman said.  
"What is that supposed to mean?" Dean snapped his head towards Roman.  
"You've put her up on a pedestal over the years but no one's perfect, Dean. Not even her," Roman said.

Dean's upper lip raised as if he was about to sner at Roman.

"Before you blow up, I don't mean anything bad about it. I'm sure she's a good woman and if you could get your head on straight and actually talk to her about everything, maybe you could work it out. She's not perfect, Dean, and neither are you. Humans make mistakes. Own up to yours and see if she'll forgive you," Roman said.

Dean looked back at her and frowned as he watched Xavier walk over to her. He handed her a drink and they sat down at a table together.

"Game on," he sighed.  
"Don't do it, Dean," Roman said.  
"I'm not doing anything. I'm gonna sit down at this table and see where this evening takes me," Dean said.

He sat down and Seth and Roman joined him. They kept the conversation going while Dean constantly kept an eye on her. She flirted, smiled and laughed but it was all fake. Her eyes met his many times and he knew she was challenging him. Old habits are always hard to break and he found himself scan the room to see who would maybe like a night with him. Alicia or Paige maybe? They were both single and usually up for some fun. Maybe he could even convince them to have a threesome since they were good friends.

"Dean, you're spacing out," Seth shook him gently.  
"Sorry, just tired," Dean said.  
"You don't need to lie," Roman said.

Dean looked over at Spencer again, watching how she leaned in a bit closer to Xavier and faked a laugh at something he said. He couldn't do it anymore. Four years of this stupid game was enough.

"I'm gonna go," he said.

He stood up and walked through the room. As he came close to her table, those crystal green eyes met his and he stopped right next to her. He leaned down so they were face to face, taking in those beautiful eyes that he adored, not caring about her seeing the tears in his own.

"I'm done," he said.

He straightened up and walked out of the room. He went straight to the elevator and rode up to his floor. He had barely made it inside his room before his phone went off and Roman's name came up on the screen.

"What?" He asked when he picked up.  
"She just left. Spencer left right after you," Roman said.  
"So?" Dean asked.  
"In tears," Roman added. "She stormed out of there."  
"Fuck!" Dean shouted. "Ask Nia what..."  
"I already did," Roman cut him off. "Room 632."  
"Thank you," Dean said.

He hung up while running out of his room. He took the stairs two at the time until he was two floors further up, running down the hallway, stopping in front of her door and pounding on it. She opened a few seconds later and looked at him surprised. She quickly reached a hand up to dry her eyes and he pushed his way inside before she could react.

"It's okay to cry," he said.  
"I'm not crying because of you," she said.  
"Then why?" He asked.

She turned around and walked further into the room. He looked at her bare feet and followed behind her. She had taken off her shoes but the dress was still on her. He moved close behind her and placed his hands on her hips.

"I cry too," he said. "Often, actually. Everytime we meet and everytime you leave."  
"You're an idiot!" She hissed.  
"I am," he said.

He spun her around so he could look at her. Those crystal green eyes so full of sorrow. She looked just as broken as he felt. He reached a hand up to push her hair away from her face and stroke her cheek.

"I want the truth," she said.  
"I won't lie," he said.  
"How many women did you cheat on me with? I know that bimbo wasn't the only one," she said.

He sighed deeply. He had always known this day would come. He had always wanted to talk about it but he knew it was going to hurt.

"Five," he said.  
"Five?" She raised her voice.

She placed her hands on his chest and pushed him away in anger. For so long he had wanted her to react, ever since the day she had caught him in bed with another girl, and now that he finally got it, it hurt him even more than he could have ever imagined.

"Why wasn't I enough for you?" She yelled.  
"You were. You still are," he said.  
"Fuck you!" She sneered.  
"Sami and the other guys, they got into my head," he pointed at his temple. "And no, I'm not putting the blame on them because I still did what they told me I should do. I still chose to cheat because I was stupid and fucking insecure. I didn't think I deserved you so I hurt you and I hurt myself and not a day goes by where I don't regret it."

She stared at him, her eyes shooting daggers at him. He swallowed hard, waiting for her to say anything but she just continued to stare in silence.

"Say something, hedgehog," he pleaded.

The slap that landed on his cheek stung like hell. He had always known he deserved it but he didn't see it coming and it made him angry too.

"Why the fuck do you always call me that?" She shouted.  
"Because hedgehogs are the cutest animal I've ever seen and you're the fucking cutest woman I've ever seen so I kinda figured it would be cute, alright?" He shouted back.  
"So fucking cute!" She sneered.

Another slap to his cheek and he became more angry.

"Stop it!" He warned her.  
"Yeah?" She shook her head a bit. "What are you gonna do about it, idiot?"

She slapped him again and again, both of her hands coming up to try and hit him. He grabbed both her wrists, pinned her hands behind her back and yanked her close.

"I fucking love you!" He shouted.  
"That's your fucking problem!" She shouted.  
"And yours!" He shouted.

He crashed his lips down on hers, let her wrists go and instead locked his arms around her waist so she couldn't get away. Her arms came around him too as she whimpered into the kiss and tried to pull him closer. He broke the kiss and leaned his forehead against hers.

"I won't go away," he said. "If you wanna keep tormenting me for the rest of my life then I'll be your fucking slave but I'm done playing that stupid game with you. No more, Spencer. You wanna fuck around with whoever, I won't stop you. I'll be here waiting and you can break my heart again and again for as long as you want until you feel you're done punishing me for what I did to you. I can't stop loving you, hedgehog. I won't stop. You've always been the one for me."

She let out another whimper and reached up to grab his face with both her hands.

"If you ever do something like that again," she warned.  
"I won't. I promise. I'll cut off my own balls with a rusty knife if I ever think about another woman," he said.  
"You idiot!" She giggled. "I fucking love you too."

He kissed her again while backing her towards the bed. He stopped in front of it and pulled the dress over her head. She was wearing a white set of underwear underneath and he quickly got the bra off her as well before gently pushing her down on the bed. He kicked off his shoes and undressed to his boxers before joining her on the bed.

"Please, don't leave me tomorrow," he begged as he kissed her neck. "Please. I won't fuck up again."  
"Dean!" She panted and tugged on his hair. "Baby! Fucking relax, okay?"  
"You want me to relax right now?" He raised his head with a grin. "Seriously?"  
"Okay, I get your point. Fuck me and then relax," she laughed.  
"With pleasure," he said.

He pushed himself down her body, hooked her panties and slid them down her legs. He kissed up her thighs, keeping his eyes locked with her crystal green ones that now shone of lust, until he reached his goal. Her eyes closed the second his tongue ran over her clit. Just like they always did, just like he knew they would. He hummed with satisfaction as he continued his quest, letting his tongue run wildly over her again and again until he finally had her crying out in pleasure.

He pushed himself out of bed while she laid there pure blissful to look at. She had opened her eyes again and she smiled at him while he got out of his boxers. He was fast between her legs again, pushing into her right away, enjoying the moans he drew from her tempting mouth.

"I've always loved you," he panted between his thrusts. "Always."  
"Dean!" She cried out a second time.

He continued the pace through her second orgasm, feeling her almost rip him apart as he came too. He collapsed down on her, his lips connecting with her neck again while his fingers toyed with her curls.

"I won't leave you tomorrow," she said. "Or any day after that."

Roman and Dean had arrived to breakfast first next morning. Roman had just put down his coffee cup when Seth elbowed him and nodded towards the door. A smiling Dean came walking in with his fingers interlocked with Spencer's. They walked over to the table and sat down.

"So?" Seth smirked.  
"I don't think you were formally introduced," Dean said. "Spencer, meet my two best friends and brothers in arms Roman and Seth."  
"A pleasure," Roman said.  
"And guys," Dean smiled widely. "This is Spencer, my girlfriend."


End file.
